Friday, August 7, 2009

"What kind of cake did you say this was"

That was the line that started one of the few fights Gary and I have had in our Marriage! Let me start by saying #1 I love my husband to death but #2. He is as dense as a rock wall sometimes! So, for the past 2 days I have been nagging Gary to do 2 things for me, one of them being put the table and chairs that are sitting in my breezeway downstairs in the storage area so I can have my breezeway back and the second being to sew the elastic back in one of the two pairs of black pants that I own that actually fit my huge ass right now! Yes you heard or shall I say *read* me right, Gary sews. I took Home Economics when I was in middle school, I even remember sewing some sort of demented stuffed animal for class but if you asked me now how to thread a sewing machine, I would certainly tell you to go fly a kite. My dear dear husband on the other hand took one look at this sewing machine when we got it and had it threaded and working in 5 mintues. He says all you need to do is "follow the arrows and instructions on the machine" Uh, all I can say. So, since he knows how to use this ridiculous machine and I have no clue, he is the sucker ( I mean sewer) in the family. Sooooooooooo, He told me he would sew the elastic back in for me and 2 days later it wasn't done.....I calmly went to my linen closet last night and grabbed one of our sewing for dummies kits and got out some black thread and a needle and proceeded to huff as loud as I could while I tried to get the thread threaded into that little ass needle hole. So, after he hears me huffing he turns to see what I am complaining about and says "What are you doing I said I would do that for you". So I nicely told him that I needed the pants for tomorrow and since it was already 10:30 at night I would just do it myself. So he took them from me and hooked up the machine and started pinning my pants. In the mean time I honed in on some cake he brought home from work with him and was asking him questions about the cake and he said some girl makes cakes once a week or something to that effect and that one was red velvet and it was really good then out of no where I sneezed and pee'd on myslef (yes one of the joys of being pregnant with twins) so I dont remember anything else of the alleged "cake conversation" since I was running to the bathroom trying not to pee puddles on myself at that point. So, I came back after fixing myself and dug into the cake. As I was eating I said " What kind of cake did you say this was and I thought you said this was good cake" and he looked at me and said "Well which one are you eating" and I said "The red one, why, there are a few different kinds in there" and he freaked.....he said "If I listened to him when he talked I would know there were TWO kinds of cakes in there and the other kind was the good kind"! Um, excuse me?????? If I listened to him??? Huh??? How the hell could I listen to him as I was trying not to pee all over myself?? I just dont understand, so I obviously screamed that at him and then of course in a rage I chucked my Red Velvet cake at him and my pants and my newly painted cabinets in the kitchen and stormed to the bedroom. The cake sucked anyway so it was no real loss to me and damn it felt good to throw something but seriously. He is freaking dense. Dense, dense, dense. He thinks the whole damn world revolves around his freaking cake explanation. So he came in later and apologized like a good husband and said he should be more aware of the things I am going through while being pregnant and blah blah blah but still, and he was sorry for being so insensitive (in my opinion the man is a little too sensitive these days) but still he's a idiot! But I love him just the same!

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