Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Alright I confess.

Okay, I quit smoking 4 years ago. I have been messing with fire and started smoking again only when drinking. Yeah well, that quickly turned into smoking on a regular basis. Surprise, Surprise. I need to quit again, I hate that I started again. I have been sneaking around behind Gary's back and trying to hide it for weeks now. I finally just came out and told him tonight. He was dissapointed. I expected him to be. I need to get the freaking patch now. This sucks.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


Well, as usual I am still not pregnant. Not that I expected anything different, I mean after 21 months of this crap-I'm pretty used to it by now, but seriously?? What the hell do I have to do to get myself knocked up? When will it be my turn? I just dont freakin understand?!

So, last month I had my HSG done, it really hurt like hell and they say you are more fertile for the following 3 months so one month down, two to go.

On a more positive note, we are getting our new camper in April and I can't wait to go camping in it. It will sleep 10 comfortable and we have already booked most of our camping dates. We are going to maine for a week for a family reunion and will be camping there.

Gary wants to buy mountain bikes, I want to also, but am holding on to the hope of getting pregnant and I can't ride a bike pregnant. So, I'm holding out a few more months to see what happens.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day!!

So, today I am 13dpo and for all you non-trying to conceivers out there that is days past ovulation. I thought for sure after my crappy HSG this month I would be pregnant, but it appears or at least according to my pregnancy tests I have been taking for 6 days-I am not pregnant. I was really hoping to suprise Gary with it today. Anyway, I am still convinced I am pregnant. I mean I've been emotional all day, and usually spot before my period comes, but not this month. No spotting at all. That just has to count for something right?

Well, anyway, off the baby thing. Gary and I went out for dinner tonight. Last year we went to the same resturant and it was very romantic.......we were up in the loft last year with candles lit everywhere and the food was great. This year I didn't specify the loft....so we got a regular table on the floor and there was no special lighting or candles, just tables. Anyway, all of a sudden I found myself surrounded by the strangest people! To my left there was a strange transvestite (sp?) and to my right I swear to god there was Tom Green eating dinner with some freaky fat girl in a terrible dress.....but anyway, he looked just like Tom Green, so much so that I could see that no one around me could concentrate on dinner-only on the strange Tom Green looking guy with the big girl. Then there was a girl next to us who ordered chicken wings and she wasn't a danty chicken wing eater, she was the kind that stuck the whole freaking wing in her mouth and sucked it clean......ugh, made me sick looking at her. So, my husband I found ourselves laughing hysterically at everyone around us rather than finding any of this romantic. Oh well, guess you can't win them all huh?

Friday, February 8, 2008

Give me something to Pee on!!

Geez, I have 3 internet cheapies left (out of 100) and I refuse to test until I am at least 10 dpo this month. I was so desperate to pee on something I pulled out one of my fertility monitor test sticks and pee'd on that.....just one line, but damn it made me feel better. I can't stand this anymore, I feel like a mad women!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

The beginning

Well......where to start? Since I was a little girl, I had always dreamed of getting married and starting a family of my own. I got married to the man of my dreams, Gary, in 2005 and we decided to wait a year to start our family. Once our one year anniversary hit we started "trying". I thought the following month I would be pregnant. Boy was I in for a surprise. The following months were no different. After a year and getting no where I talked to my gyn. She gave me slips for lab work and Gary a lab slip for a seman analysis. My bloodwork came back good, but his SA wasn't so good! They gave him a "redo" he passed. Thank God.

At this point I decided that I was losing my mind, I went back to my gyn and she put me on clomid. I dont know why I let her do it, I already ovulate on my own, and everything I read kept telling me it was going to be no help. The only thing it did was give me bad migranes, make me cry at the drop of a dime, and dried me out down there! It sucked. I went off it the next month and called to make a appointment for my HSG the gyn suggested I get done.

That sucked too.....It kinda felt like someone was sawing off my fallopian tube! But they say after the test you become more fertile.......we'll see!
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